You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
