he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
