i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That accounts for only three of the penises
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
