Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
