YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
