I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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