i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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