I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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