Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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