Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
