SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
