I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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