Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He better not be in your backpack
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
