I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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