My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
