we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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