just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Enjoy the penises
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
