I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
