would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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