i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
