How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
