I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
