i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Can't talk, ducks in the car
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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