Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
