all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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