About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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