i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
