Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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