he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
