I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
