Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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