If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
