My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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