Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
