dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I look better un-naked...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
