I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
organizing the empties. That sober.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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