the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
