i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
