If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
