my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
