I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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