Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
