VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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