You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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