I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
