i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
