put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
