why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
