Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
