What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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