When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
