meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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