peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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